


Miracles in December

by gudekkuma_yeollie



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Lots of crying y'all, M/M, Pining, Requited Unrequited Love, Sappy, Smut, Two puppies crying in the snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-02 20:08:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19448638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gudekkuma_yeollie/pseuds/gudekkuma_yeollie
Summary: Baekhyun's always been pretty sure he's known his best friend of twelve years, Park Chanyeol, better than he knows himself. They'd been through everything together.Then, he found out that said best friend had been hiding the fact that he was in love with him for years.





	1. Miracles in December

**Author's Note:**

> I was actually looking at the lyrics for Miracles in December and My Turn to Cry (oldies but classics) and I got really inspired to write a snowy confession scene with a guilty, angry Baek and caught Yeol so thus this came to life asjhdhfjdf
> 
> This is legit the sappiest most emotional smut I've ever written :') tho y'all will have to wait for chapter 2 for that fufufu
> 
> Bottom!Chanyeol bc i can't write anything else YOLO
> 
> They cry a lot, you've been warned
> 
> Also a reminder that all acts written here are safe, sane, and consensual. All parties are legal age or above. EXO and all other kpop entertainers presented here are real people and so I remind you that this is just a fic. I am writing this and all future fics as dramas with their stage personas as the actors. This is not intended to be a representation of who these people are or are not. Remember to love and respect them always. And thanks for reading! <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually looking at the lyrics for Miracles in December and My Turn to Cry (oldies but classics) and I got really inspired to write a snowy confession scene with a guilty, angry Baek and caught Yeol so thus this came to life asjhdhfjdf
> 
> This is legit the sappiest most emotional smut I've ever written :')
> 
> Bottom!Chanyeol bc i can't write anything else YOLO
> 
> Also, they cry a lot, you've been warned

Baekhyun shut the door behind him, feet moving him but gaze unseeing as he went forward, legs hitting the edge of his bed and stopping completely. He stared at the unmade sheets, not even paying Mongryong any mind as the corgi trotted happy circles around his ankles.

He was still processing the fact that his best friend of twelve years was in love with him.

Mongryong yipped, trying to get the blond’s attention, and Baekhyun blinked, slowly lowering so he could sit on the bed, the plastic of his convenience store bag rustling as he set it down next to him. The corgi jumped up beside him, wiggling under his owner’s hand and into his side like a loaf of warmth and affection. Baekhyun rubbed at Mongryong’s ear absent-mindedly, brow furrowing as he tried to understand what he’d just heard.

He’d come home, having caught the tail end of Jongdae and Minseok’s conversation. They’d been trying to figure out Christmas presents, but they’d been on Chanyeol when Baekhyun entered. Clearly, they hadn’t heard him, because Jongdae had joked that they should just giftwrap Baekhyun and give him to their tall friend. Minseok had laughed, but countered that even if they did, Chanyeol would still never make a move despite how in love he was because he’d had years to take a chance.

Baekhyun had set the beer he’d brought a little too loudly down on a side table, startling his roommates and making them whirl their heads around, eyes wide and a little panicked when they saw him standing in the foyer.

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Baekhyun, you’ve gotta promise not to tell Chanyeol we told you.”_

_“What. Did. You. Just. Say.”_

_“Well…Chanyeol is kind of, uh, in love with you.”_

_“He’s in love. With me.”_

_“Yeah…we don’t even know how long because we could tell back when we first met you two, and that was…that was three years ago.”_

Eyes shuttering, Baekhyun had picked up the beer and went straight into his room, feeling Jongdae and Minseok’s worried gazes following him.

And now here he was.

He pulled out his phone, light flooding the corner of his room as it lit up with his lockscreen, which was a picture of Mongryong with a sticker filter. There were a few notifications he didn’t bother checking, opening his gallery. Selcas of him and his friends pulled up, the last being the streak selca Chanyeol had sent him an hour ago. His bangs were pinned back with a Rilakkuma clip that he’d stolen from Jongin, flashing a peace sign as he face masked.

Baekhyun squinted at it, trying to look past the immediate reaction of _cute_. It certainly didn’t look like Chanyeol was in love with him.

He started going back, pausing every time he reached a picture of Chanyeol, but he looked normal in each one.

Then, he reached a picture of them together.

It was Baekhyun who’d squished the sides of their faces together, puffing his cheeks as Chanyeol winked at the camera, both of their peace signs touching.

To Baekhyun, it was a perfectly normal shot. Just two friends taking a selca together.

They looked good together, he thought after a moment, gaze tracing the picture as he really took the time to look at it.

After a moment, he started swiping again. This time when he stopped, it was on a candid that someone had probably took after stealing his phone at the last group dinner they’d went to.

Baekhyun was talking to Yixing about something, Chanyeol off to the side and chin propped on his palm as he stared at them.

Baekhyun zoomed a little on the taller, and he realized that he wasn’t looking at them, he was only looking at Baekhyun.

His breath caught a little when he recognized what he saw on Chanyeol’s face.

He looked… _sad_. And fond. But mostly just sad.

Baekhyun had never seen Chanyeol look like that before. Sure, he’d seen the taller cry and pout and whine and everything else on the spectrum, but the depth behind this particular emotion was so shockingly steep that it took Baekhyun a few seconds to process that his happy virus best friend could appear so downright _miserable_.

He turned off his phone, dropping it on the bed and shutting his eyes.

Baekhyun told Chanyeol everything, so the taller knew about Baekhyun and Yixing’s friends-with-benefits relationship. Probably knew more details than he’d needed to, because Baekhyun had a bad habit of kissing and telling. Especially to his best friend of twelve years who he’d been through thick and thin with.

If Chanyeol really was in love with him, Baekhyun giggling about how good Yixing was in bed must’ve been like multiple stabs of a jagged knife.

Baekhyun felt sick, wanting to go back in time in strangle his own past self’s neck. He dug into the bag, taking a can out and popping it open aggressively, pressing the cold metal against his mouth as he took big pulls of the beer.

How long? He wondered as he lowered the drink, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. How long had Chanyeol been in love with him? How many years had he been hiding that from him?

How much time had Baekhyun wasted?

He wanted to scream, but settled for gulping down more, relishing in the bitter taste that reflected his mood.

Unbidden, he remembered how he and Chanyeol had met back in middle school. He’d just moved to the area, and he’d already been unhappy with being uprooted from his friends back home. Coupled with his inability to leave alone things that didn’t concern him, he ended up beating up some boys that had been bullying Chanyeol. The latter had been a heavy kid with bad eyesight and a near-obsessive love of ferrets, so he’d been a prime target for other snot-nosed shits who needed to feel better about themselves. Baekhyun had been in aikido since he was six and hated bullies most of all. Chanyeol had brought him a One Piece figurine the next day, shy and grateful as he told Baekhyun to take it, and the older boy had vowed to himself then that he’d protect him.

And protect him he had. Of course, Baekhyun would be the first to make fun of Chanyeol, but he’d also be the first to bite off heads if anyone so much as sent a malicious look in the latter’s direction. Chanyeol may have grown taller than Baekhyun, but he still retained a lot of the same softness from when Baekhyun had first met him despite being more confident and outgoing now.

Baekhyun had spent so long looking out for Chanyeol from external threats he didn’t even realize that he’d forgotten to consider himself too.

Finished with the first can, Baekhyun threw it at the dustbin next to his desk, luck making it so that it hit the rim and rattled its way down. He reached for the next one, knowing he could handle two before he got affected.

It wasn’t like Chanyeol hadn’t dated around, though. Baekhyun had given a few shovel talks to Chanyeol’s partners over the years, even to their friend Sehun when the younger had started going out with Chanyeol. It had been a surprise considering that Sehun had had a well-known crush on Junmyeon. Unsurprisingly, Sehun and Chanyeol lasted a few months, the former dating Junmyeon within weeks after the breakup. Baekhyun had felt torn, knowing that Sehun and Junmyeon were finally happy together, but upset by how Chanyeol, despite swearing he wasn’t too hurt over it, still went through a period of post-breakup depression.

It occurred to Baekhyun that like how Sehun had been in love with Junmyeon for years, Chanyeol had been in the same situation with him, and the fact that they both dated might have been their way of rebounding from Junmyeon and Baekhyun.

Baekhyun told Chanyeol everything, but the latter didn’t. Couldn’t.

The big idiot who wore his heart on his sleeve managed to keep his feelings all to himself this whole time.

Baekhyun’s eyes felt hot, vision blurring as he took another sip of his beer, tasting salt.

Sniffling, Baekhyun rubbed at his face with his sleeve, displacing his glasses with the movement. Mongryong whined a little, nosing at Baekhyun’s hip and looking up at him with big eyes, able to tell that his owner was distressed but not why.

Baekhyun tipped back the rest of the beer, tossing that one in the trashcan too. He looked down at Mongryong, the corgi’s tail wagging when they made eye contact. Baekhyun sniffed again, picking up his dog and hugging him, burrowing his face into the soft fur. Mongryong licked his ear, nosing at the blond’s hair, and Baekhyun shuddered.

He knew that he wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about Chanyeol. To be able to sleep or eat unless he went to him and actually talked to him. So, he cuddled Mongryong for a few moments longer before setting the corgi back down on the bed. He picked up his phone again, opening the KakaoTalk for him and Chanyeol, sending a quick message that he was coming over. It was seen in moments, and Chanyeol sent back a sparkly Ryan sticker.

Baekhyun got up, eyeing the gloves and scarf on his desk but deciding to leave them. He was already dressed in a dark hoodie and sweats, a plaid overshirt he’d stolen from Chanyeol atop it, and a beanie. The cold might still bother him during the three-block walk to Chanyeol’s, but Baekhyun didn’t care enough to bundle up any further.

The living room was conspicuously empty when he came back out, and he paid it no mind as he made his way back to the foyer. It was only after he’d put his shoes on and had his hand on the front door when he was stopped.

“You’re going to go see him, aren’t you?”

Baekhyun didn’t move, remaining still as he waited for Minseok to continue. It was Jongdae who spoke next instead.

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

Baekhyun’s grip tightened on the knob, and something must’ve shown in the line of his shoulders because Minseok sighed.

“Just…go easy on him. He didn’t think you’d ever find out by yourself, you know.”

“I’m his best friend.” Baekhyun said lowly, so quiet that he wasn’t even sure the other two had heard him. “Twelve years. He spent half of that hiding something so big right under my nose. We’re past the point of me being nice to the idiot.”

He left before either could get the chance to speak again, firmly shutting the door behind him. Brow furrowed and hands shoved into his pockets, Baekhyun made his way down the stairs and out into the streets.

It was snowing, white sheets of frosty powder sparkling in the lamplight, slowly filling back in the tracks Baekhyun left on the sidewalk. They sprinkled cold against his face and neck, and the blond pulled up his hood, breath puffing in front of him as he walked as quickly as he could.

He had three blocks to figure out what he was going to say to Chanyeol.

With every step he took, the more his stomach worked itself up into knots.

He was angry.

He was angry with Chanyeol and their friends, because clearly this was a well-known secret to everyone but him. The fact that no one told him all this time made him feel both left out as well as pissed that _they had literally missed out on all of these years_.

Mostly, Baekhyun was just angry with himself.

He’d never been able to tell, and he’d prided himself on being the one who knew Chanyeol the best. _Bullshit_ , he thought bitterly.

He wasn’t going to lie and say that there weren’t a few times when he’d looked at Chanyeol and saw the potential for them being more than just friends, but he’d always written it off based on the fact that they’d known each other since they were kids and Chanyeol probably didn’t think of him like that either.

Baekhyun wanted to hit something, filling with the bubbles of sharp, blistering emotion that his body felt too cramped to hold.

He stopped when he finally reached the front of Chanyeol’s apartment complex, not even realizing that he’d arrived but his body more than used to the route and remembering for him. He stared up at the building, at the balcony where he’d spent as much time at as his own.

He pulled out his phone, making a call before looking back up at the faint glow of the windows and the shadows inside.

“ _Hey_ ,” Chanyeol answered pleasantly.

Baekhyun’s throat was tight, and despite how cold it was outside, the hurry was drained out of him at the sound of Chanyeol’s voice.

“ _Baekhyun?_ ”

The blond tried to swallow, eyes shutting as he took a breath.

“I’m outside.”

“C _ool. You know the code anyway, just come up_.”

“No,” Baekhyun said firmly. “No, just…come down.”

There must’ve been something in his tone that caught Chanyeol, because the latter didn’t start complaining like he usually would’ve.

“ _…okay. Give me a minute._ ”

Baekhyun hung up, putting his phone back into his pocket as he watched the shadows inside Chanyeol’s apartment, shivering a little whenever the snowflakes bit too coldly at him.

True to his word, Chanyeol came down quickly. He was wearing a cream sweater with a broken heart patch over the left side of his chest, plaid bottoms that matched the overshirt Baekhyun was wearing, a Hufflepuff scarf, and the matching Gryffindor scarf he’d bought for Baekhyun bundled up in his hands as he made his way over to the blond. The taller shuddered at the frigid air, nose and ears already reddening as he burrowed his face into his scarf.

“I knew you were gonna come over like this.” Chanyeol sighed, wrapping the Gryffindor scarf around Baekhyun’s neck, tugging the blond’s beanie a little more so that it covered his ears properly. “Didn’t you get cold?”

Baekhyun didn’t reply. All he could focus on was the patch on Chanyeol’s sweater.

It was so ironic.

It was one of Chanyeol’s favorite sweaters; Baekhyun knew because the other wore it all the fucking time. Baekhyun used to like that sweater, too; it was soft and comfortable. But now he knew what it meant.

His vision was blurring, lip trembling as he sniffled.

“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol questioned, alarmed. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly as he went to catch the blond’s tears.

“You!” he finally exploded. “ _You’re_ what’s wrong, Park Chanyeol!”

Chanyeol paused, looking confused.

“What?”

“How long?” Baekhyun demanded, annoyance flaring more when the taller only appeared more puzzled. He was back in a state of heightened emotion, overwhelmed and feeling everything all at once and just wanting answers. “How long have you been in love with me, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol froze, eyes widening and looking like a deer caught in headlights. His lips parted, but he clamped them back shut, hands going to fall away but Baekhyun caught his wrists, determined not to let the other run.

He stared unflinchingly up at him, and Chanyeol looked panicked, hands wringing in Baekhyun’s grip as his gaze darted away from the other’s only to look back at him as if hoping he would have stopped staring but finding that he hadn’t each time.

In the end, it was the sight of Baekhyun’s red eyes and wet cheeks, the icy crystals already forming on the blond’s skin and the angry line of his brows but the vulnerable quiver of his lips that broke Chanyeol.

“I don’t know how you found out, but well… It’s been…” Chanyeol started with a sigh, but he burrowed into his scarf again, his answer a mumble Baekhyun couldn’t make out.

“Chanyeol…” Baekhyun huffed, breath puffing in a frosty cloud between them.

Chanyeol cleared his throat, peeking out from his scarf as he looked down, guilt written clear across his face.

“I’ve known that I’ve been in love with you since our last year of high school, but it’s probably been longer than that…”

Baekhyun dropped Chanyeol’s wrists, own hands falling limply at his sides.

“Chanyeol, that’s _at least_ five years.”

Chanyeol shrugged, still not looking back at the blond.

“…yeah. I know.”

Baekhyun let out a frustrated noise, wanting to run his hand through his hair like he usually did when he needed to let out a burst of aggression, but stopping before his hand reached his beanie, shaking his clenched fist in the air.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?” Baekhyun cried, and Chanyeol had never seen him so distraught before. He had to swallow the lump in his own throat, wondering how they’d even gotten to this point, where his worst fear had come to life and was staring him in the face now, demanding answers he didn’t think he had in him to give.

Baekhyun sniffled wetly, angrily wiping his face with his sleeved palms as he waited for Chanyeol to reply.

Chanyeol had only been safe until now because he’d done a good job of hiding his feelings, of keeping Baekhyun from confronting him like this, but he realized that he was weak and despite not knowing how to put his feelings into words, he’d try for him. He’d always try for Baekhyun.

“I was scared,” Chanyeol finally sighed. “I was scared about you changing. About the both of us losing what we have…” he saw Baekhyun open his mouth, but he cut him off. “Don’t try to say you wouldn’t have. You’re kind, Baekhyun. You would’ve felt guilty about it, and awkward whenever we cuddled or did the domestic shit we’ve been doing since we were kids because all you’d be worried about was me.”

The taller was right, and Baekhyun bit his lip, not knowing what to say.

“It hurt, at first. I didn’t really know how to deal with my feelings, but I didn’t want to leave you hanging either, so I ended up confiding in noona a lot. She told me to just tell you from the start, but I didn’t want to. I tried really hard to get over you instead. It kinda worked, but every time I went out with someone, it never really felt the same.” Chanyeol explained, rubbing his arm.

“You and Sehun…?” Baekhyun prompted, arms crossing and lowering his own face into his scarf. He got a hit of vanilla and apples, and he briefly wondered why it smelled like Chanyeol’s shampoo as his body relaxed a little at the familiar scent.

“Yeah, well, you knew how madly in love with Junmyeon-hyung he is. He knew about…about how I felt for you, and we were tired of sitting on the side and not doing anything about our feelings, so we decided we’d try to forget by dating each other.” Chanyeol looked sheepish. “It didn’t work…but it got Junmyeon to notice Sehun in the way he’d been trying, so that was good, I guess.”

“But then you were left by yourself again,” Baekhyun swallowed. “Great for Junmyeon and Sehun, but what about you?”

Chanyeol shrugged again, sending Baekhyun an unconvincing smile that already had the blond’s chest feeling tight.

“What about me?” he murmured. “I was in a relationship that wasn’t built on mutual feelings from the start. I knew what I was getting into.”

Baekhyun gritted his teeth, frustrated with Chanyeol’s feigned nonchalance.

“Chanyeol, I brought you tubs of ice cream at two in the morning because you’d call me crying for like three straight weeks. I don’t care if you were in love with…with someone else; your feelings still got hurt.”

“So what if they did?” Chanyeol snapped, surprising them both. His own eyes were shiny, and his cheeks looked flushed with more than just the nip of the air around him. “So what if I let myself think I could forget you? I do it every time I try with someone new, and it always hurts the same. So why does it matter? I’m doing it to myself, anyway, right? It’s my own fault I keep feeling like this.” He broke on a sob, hand going to his mouth as he looked away, his tears finally spilling free and cascading down to drip into his scarf, fabric darkening spottily.

Baekhyun’s gaze caught on the patch on Chanyeol’s sweater again, and the sight of the taller crying into his shaking palm while wearing his stupidly ironic broken heart sweater as the snow fell down around them was something that stuck bittersweet in the blond.

He’d seen Chanyeol cry hundreds of times over the course of their friendship, and while the situation was different, the solution was the same.

Baekhyun moved forward, sighing as he wrapped his arms around the taller’s waist, squeezing when Chanyeol immediately hugged him back tightly, feeling the other bury his face into his beanie and knowing that it wouldn’t take very long for it to get wet.

“Let it out.” Baekhyun shut his eyes, resting his cheek against Chanyeol’s chest. “Let it all out. Next time, it’s my turn, idiot. You’ve cried enough.”

Chanyeol made a wet, blubbering sound and Baekhyun snorted, rubbing the taller’s back. It took a few minutes, but Chanyeol finally pulled away, face damp and covered in snot and tears. Baekhyun sighed again, lifting the tail of the other’s scarf and gently wiping it all away.

“I–I’m sorry,” Chanyeol hiccupped. “I–I didn’t mean to hide it at first, b–but it was just easier after a while… Are you still–still mad?” He looked like a kicked puppy, and Baekhyun dropped the scarf, cold fingers pinching a red nose.

“Not as much as I was,” he admitted. “But I’m still upset. Mainly at myself for never catching on. There was a lot of time wasted, you know.”

Chanyeol’s brow furrowed, and there was a glimmer of hope underneath his disbelief.

“Wait…”

Baekhyun sighed again, fingers trailing down to rest against Chanyeol’s neck, long and chilled against the other’s warm skin.

“There’ve been times when I noticed you in ways that weren’t…best friend type.” Baekhyun confessed quietly. “But I always wrote it off because I didn’t think you liked me that way either and I also didn’t wanna mess this up.”

Chanyeol looked even more distraught, and Baekhyun hushed him with a finger against trembling lips, sending the taller a small smile.

“Look, I know we both messed up and we missed out on a few years,” Baekhyun began, making Chanyeol sniffle, “but we’re here now. We have a chance. I don’t want you to hold anything back anymore, and even if I’m not in love with you yet, I _do_ love you. There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you, Yeol-ah. I’m willing to give this a try if you are.”

He removed his finger from Chanyeol’s lips, and the taller swallowed thickly, breathing shakily before he finally spoke.

“This…This is real, right? I’m not dreaming?” he whispered. Baekhyun sucked in a breath, not ready for Chanyeol’s hesitant tone or the tentative hope in his big eyes. The blond nodded, not trusting his voice. “Baekhyunnie…there’s nothing I’d love more than to be with you, but…I don’t want this if you’re just making yourself do this for me.”

Baekhyun shook his head furiously, going to cup Chanyeol’s face between his palms.

“I know things seem surreal now; I can’t imagine what it was like to be in love for years and to suddenly have a chance at it, but I meant what I said. I would never get into a relationship just for the sake of the other person. I _want_ this, want _you_.” Baekhyun insisted. “I don’t know what else to say to make you believe me, but―”

Chanyeol leaned down, lips pressing against Baekhyun’s and the blond gasped again. The kiss tasted like salt, beer, and hot chocolate. It wasn’t perfect as far as first kisses went, but it made something warm curl up in Baekhyun’s chest, feeling alive and thrumming as the snow continued to powder the ground and their lashes.

He got worried when the kiss got slick with fresh salt, pulling away to see the taller crying again, eyes overflowing and lips jutting out in a pout.

Baekhyun tsked, watching as Chanyeol hastily tried to wipe his face.

“What did I say, idiot?” he huffed, actions belying his words as he patted the taller’s back soothingly. “Are you okay? Was I that bad?” he joked.

Chanyeol shook his head, sniffling.

“No, no, I just…I’m sorry for swooping in like that. You were still talking. I don’t know why I started crying again. I just got overwhelmed. Sorry…”

Baekhyun poked Chanyeol in the chest, giving the taller a firm stare.

“Stop apologizing. You’ve rarely apologized to me before; you doing it five times in one breath is freaking me out. You’re still my best friend. That hasn’t changed now that we’re gonna date.”

“We’re gonna date?” Chanyeol blinked, trying not to look overly eager but Baekhyun could tell he was.

“I want to. Do you?” Baekhyun replied patiently.

“ _Yes_ ,” Chanyeol breathed. “Yes, yes, yes, yes―” he kept repeating as he leaned back down, connecting their mouths together in excitement.

Baekhyun smiled into the kiss, fingers pressing into the small of Chanyeol’s back as he felt the other’s arms wind around his neck.

They both jumped when they heard loud whistling and catcalls, breaking apart to look up at the source.

Sehun and Jongin were both on the balcony, cheering and waving down at them both cheekily and excitedly with their phones out, making both Baekhyun and Chanyeol go red. The blond pressed his face into Chanyeol’s chest, embarrassed at being caught in the open. The taller seemed to feel the same if he was to go by the hasty yells of “Get back inside already!”

“Why are they so embarrassing?” Chanyeol whined.

“To be fair, we did that when we caught Jongin in the closet with Kyungsoo, so I suppose he sees it as revenge.” Baekhyun reminded.

Chanyeol grumbled something at that, but Baekhyun didn’t pay it any mind, shutting his eyes and trying to absorb the taller’s warmth as he hugged him.

“You’re coming up, right?” Chanyeol asked after a few moments, fiddling with the ends of Baekhyun’s scarf.

“Of course, who else would help you shut those two brats up if I didn’t?” Baekhyun replied.

Chanyeol laughed, bright and loud and happy, and the last of the tension Baekhyun didn’t even know he’d still had eased out of him.

Chanyeol pulled away, but not before slipping his hand into Baekhyun’s, the motion so habitual and instinctual, Baekhyun didn’t even realize that it was different now that they were actually going to start dating.

Looking back on it, he and Chanyeol had done a lot of things that couples did.

A bolt of something unpleasant ran through him again as he looked at Chanyeol from behind, at the other’s broad shoulders and strong back. He couldn’t go back and change things, but they had their chance now and Baekhyun knew that however things went, he and Chanyeol would still remain the best friends they’d started out as.

He just needed to make Chanyeol believe that, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> part 2 is indeed smutty, emotional, and very very sappy


	2. It's My Turn to Cry, Idiot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sappy smutty conclusion :3333

True to form, Jongin and Sehun sent them sly smiles and tried to hide their giggles when they came in, but Chanyeol threatened to throw one of the plushes lining the foyer table at them so they shut up.

Baekhyun and Chanyeol knew that they’d be in for it in the morning, if the way their pockets were buzzing with texts was any indication.

“We’re going to my room.” Chanyeol said, a little unnecessarily.

Jongin and Sehun’s expressions said all they didn’t, and he squinted threateningly at them, dragging Baekhyun behind him and through the living room.

“He keeps the condoms and lube in the middle drawer, hyung!” Sehun called after them.

Baekhyun turned his head, cocking his brow as he sent Sehun a little smirk.

“I know.”

Sehun’s impish grin widened as he whistled and Jongin burst into cackles. Chanyeol didn’t look back, but they could all see the way his ears turned red.

The taller led them into his room, full of the same anime memorabilia and San-X plushes as the last time Baekhyun had been over. The main lights were off, only a salt lamp and the brightness of Chanyeol’s laptop screen illuminating the room.

“We don’t have to do anything, you know.” Chanyeol mumbled, glancing back at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun hummed, squeezing the taller’s palm.

“I know. We can just laze around like usual until we fall asleep, or we can do other things. I’m good with either.”

Chanyeol nodded, brow furrowed in contemplation as he let go of Baekhyun’s hand, unwrapping his scarf and laying it on his desk chair before taking off his shoes. The blond followed his lead, removing his beanie, scarf, overshirt, and shoes. Chanyeol flopped over onto his bed, his laptop still open by the pillows and cradled in the arms of the biggest Rilakkuma plush, patting the spot next to him.

Baekhyun didn’t need permission, would’ve jumped onto the bed alongside him without Chanyeol inviting him because they’d never needed that, but he saw what the other was trying to do regardless.

“Chanyeol, you’re being weirder about this than I am.” Baekhyun said as he let himself fall into the taller’s bed, grabbing the Tony Tony Chopper plush and laying his head atop it as he twined their legs together.

Chanyeol sent him a glance before pulling up his Netflix account.

“No, I’m not.”

“Very convincing.”

“Baekhyun, let me live. The guy I’ve been in love with for like half my life who also happens to be my best friend said he’s gonna be my boyfriend now. I’m gonna be a little weird about it.”

Baekhyun paused, staring at Chanyeol’s profile and watching as he bit his lip.

“Don’t do that,” Baekhyun scolded. “It makes your lips chapped.”

Chanyeol eased the flesh back out of his mouth, and Baekhyun was suddenly hyperaware of the way it glistened in the blue light of the laptop. He glanced up and saw that he’d been caught staring by the taller. It was habit, the way he turned away, to keep from doing anything stupid, but when he caught the flash of disappointment on Chanyeol’s face, he realized that he was repeating the same mistakes that had cost them five years.

Expression setting in determination, Baekhyun leaned up a little, making sure that Chanyeol wasn’t looking anywhere but at him as he spoke.

“Chanyeol,” he said quietly, “I really want to kiss you.”

Chanyeol’s own gaze dropped to Baekhyun’s mouth before darting back up, and he almost bit his lip again before remembering what Baekhyun had said.

“Join the club,” the taller joked, “I’ve been wanting to kiss you, too. Get over here already.”

Baekhyun knew what the other was trying to do by having him initiate; he was probably still worried about how much Baekhyun actually wanted him. The blond had no problem with proving to Chanyeol that his steadily-intensifying desire to put his mouth on the other wasn’t just because they were best friends.

He leaned up, pressing their mouths together, feeling Chanyeol sigh against him before his lips parted and their tongues got to know each other. It was sort of refreshing, learning one another in this way, but both of them were so in tune with each other’s ticks that it was easy for them to familiarize what the other liked with a few strokes and caresses.

Baekhyun wanted to get closer, _needed_ to get closer, and he didn’t have to do much, because Chanyeol was grabbing him and pulling him over, drawing the blond down on top of him. Baekhyun laughed a little when he landed on his hands, caging Chanyeol between his arms. The taller reached a hand up to shut his laptop closed, losing the largest source of light in the room save for the salt lamp as he slid it under one of the plushes. The curtains were drawn open, however, so their eyes slowly readjusted with the help of the lamplight outside as Chanyeol slipped under Baekhyun’s hoodie, large palms running over the smooth expanse of his back.

“How far do you want this to go?” Baekhyun lifted himself back up, nipping Chanyeol’s lip when the taller whined at him. “I’m serious.”

Chanyeol let his head fall back into the pillows, mouth puckering as he furrowed his brow, clearly not wanting to have to voice his desires but knowing that they wouldn’t get anywhere unless he did.

“I…I want to have sex with you. Everything just feels so…right, and normally, I’d never just jump into bed like this, but…it’s you. I want whatever you’re willing to give, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun’s eyes went glassy, and he looked down at Chanyeol with an emotion that the taller had never seen before. It made something in him buzz to life, skin prickling under the weight of the other’s stare.

“Why are you the sappiest person I’ve ever met?” was what the blond said instead.

Before Chanyeol could let out an offended protest, Baekhyun dipped back down to kiss him again, whatever the taller had on his tongue getting swallowed by the blond’s own.

Baekhyun kissed him so deeply that he practically stole the breath out of Chanyeol’s lungs, the latter’s fingers tightening against the blond’s sides until he finally pulled away, both of them panting. Baekhyun sat up, skewing his glasses in his haste to remove his hoodie, and Chanyeol laughed at him as he also raised up from the bed, hands going to the hem of his sweater to remove it but Baekhyun stopped him.

Chanyeol tilted his head in confusion until Baekhyun placed a hand over the patch on his chest.

“I used to love this thing, you know.” Baekhyun murmured, sounding more far away than Chanyeol would’ve liked for him to. It clicked for him when he realized that Baekhyun was talking about the broken heart sewn into the fabric. The familiar bubble of heartache began to build in Chanyeol’s chest until Baekhyun continued, eyes catching the taller’s once more and dragging him back to their moment. “I’m going to burn this sweater, Chanyeol. I’ll buy you a better one, but I don’t ever want to see you wear this again.”

Chanyeol shut his eyes, taking a deep breath as he tried to contain his emotions. He blinked them open after a minute, leaning down to press a kiss against the corner of Baekhyun’s mouth.

“On two conditions,” he hummed against the other’s jaw as he placed soft kisses against the skin, “you buy us cheesy matching sweaters, and that you get it off of me right now.”

Baekhyun huffed in amusement, fingers going to the bottom of the sweater and wasting no time in sliding it up off Chanyeol’s torso.

“Babe, we’ll be so cheesy it’s going to make everyone gag.” Baekhyun promised.

Chanyeol’s eyes lit up at the endearment, lips curving as he stroked a hand down the line of Baekhyun’s back.

“Babe? If I’m your baby now then that means I get to officially make you my jagi, you know.”

Baekhyun couldn’t even roll his eyes because he loved it. He loved the sound of it, of being each other’s in a way he couldn’t have fathomed before, but the more the evening rolled out, the more Baekhyun found himself not regretting a thing as he fell deeper and deeper with Chanyeol.

“If that’s how you want it, babe,” was what he said instead.

Chanyeol’s gaze hooded a little, a familiar mischief tinged with an unfamiliar lust targeted right at the blond.

“Is that how we’re doing things? How I want it? Because there’s definitely a few ways I can think of wanting _it_.”

Baekhyun’s own gaze widened a little, both in disbelief and awe.

“When did you learn that? Who taught you how to talk like that?”

Chanyeol sighed, leaning forward again to start nipping down the blond’s throat.

“Does that really matter right now? If you really wanna find out what I’m like in bed, then do, don’t ask.” He tsked before sucking a mark into Baekhyun’s neck, satisfied at the thrumming response against his lips, teasing and biting the skin until it bruised under his mouth.

Baekhyun’s fingers wound into Chanyeol’s hair, getting a more than pleased noise out of the taller as they threaded through dark locks.

“Staking your claim?” the blond may have posed it as a question, but they both knew he was just stating a fact.

“Proudly.” Chanyeol confirmed, moving to make another and Baekhyun let him, tilting his head back to give the other space.

He only let Chanyeol finish the second, however, before he halted the taller’s movements with the subtle tightening of his grip, tipping Chanyeol’s head back as he smiled, eyes crinkling.

“If you get to mark me, does that mean I get to mark you up too?”

Chanyeol’s response was to crane his neck back further, shooting Baekhyun a look that had the blond leaning up to drag his lips along the other’s neck, feeling Chanyeol’s muscles twitch in surprise at the rough but arousing movement, nosing under the taller’s jaw as his teeth flashed mischievously against skin, knowing that the other must be getting impatient by now. He waited until Chanyeol opened his mouth before finally sinking down, teeth just shy of painful and tongue flicking against salty flesh as Chanyeol’s sentence dissolved into a yelp turned groan.

The second didn’t take as long to make, Baekhyun having mapped out Chanyeol’s neck already and deciding not to play again for now. When he pulled back to survey his handiwork, Baekhyun sighed happily, thumb rubbing into the first mark and pressing just a little to feel Chanyeol’s throat rumble under it.

“Not the sweaters yet, but now we have matching hickeys.” Baekhyun pointed out with a grin full of the very teeth that made it so.

Chanyeol swallowed at the sight, and a part of him wanted that mouth back on him despite the torturous teasing it had put him through, because once he got the full experience, he’d felt things all the way down to his toes and that was just from some _hickeys_.

He looked down, eyes darkening and tongue flitting out to wet his kiss-swollen lips at the sight of the tent in Baekhyun’s sweatpants.

He wanted it.

Had wanted it for the past five years.

“Baekhyunnie,” Chanyeol began as he reached a hand down to palm the blond through his sweats, receiving a heady groan and a thrust back against his hand, “I’ve heard enough of your sex life to know what you like in bed. You want to top, don’t you?”

Baekhyun ground down against Chanyeol’s hand shamelessly, cocking a brow at the taller.

“Why? Baby want to bottom for me?” he questioned lowly.

Chanyeol stopped stroking Baekhyun in favor of gripping the waistband of his sweats, yanking them down as he bent to nose at Baekhyun’s ear.

“Why don’t you open me up and find out, jagi-yah?”

“Fuck,” Baekhyun growled, “I really don’t know where you learned how to talk like that, but I don’t care at this point because damn, baby.”

Chanyeol grinned as Baekhyun kicked off his sweats, lifting his own hips and helping the blond slide his bottoms off. Baekhyun was back in his space within moments, and Chanyeol made room for him between his legs as the blond shoved his tongue back in his mouth, gasping when a hand went to grip his hard dick, jerking into Baekhyun’s grasp. The blond started mouthing a path down his neck and Chanyeol moaned, hand raking through Baekhyun’s soft hair.

“You’re still a gym rat,” Baekhyun teased against the smooth skin of Chanyeol’s clavicle, “but I’m glad I can appreciate the fruits of your efforts.”

Chanyeol huffed out a laugh, the sound stuttering when Baekhyun moved his attention to his muscled chest, keening a little when his nipple was tugged at by playful teeth. The taller moved one of his hands down, palming the supple flesh of Baekhyun’s ass and making the blond purr against his pec, eyes peering up from behind long lashes and round glasses.

“Jagi,” Chanyeol began sweetly, “since you know where I keep them, why don’t you get the condom and lube?”

Baekhyun gave him a cheeky little salute and Chanyeol rolled his eyes at him, humming as Baekhyun kept one hand on his knee, fingers massaging it absent-mindedly as he opened the middle drawer of Chanyeol’s bedside table with his other hand.

“I know you’ve got a big dick, but tell me you’ve got my size in here somewhere,” Baekhyun grumbled as he shuffled through the foil packets.

“I always make sure to have all sizes on hand at all times.” Chanyeol said, yelping when Baekhyun tossed the lube bottle at him. “Just because you can’t see in the dark doesn’t mean you have to take it out on me,” he whined.

“Ha! I found them!” Baekhyun cried victoriously, pulling out a roll and tearing one off like he’d won a prize.

Chanyeol burst into snickers, laughing harder when Baekhyun pinched his knee.

“You’re so lame,” he managed to gasp through his wheezing. “Ah, this is why I love you,” he said as he wiped his eyes.

He froze when he realized what he’d just uttered.

Baekhyun saw and felt the way Chanyeol tensed up, the taller refusing to meet his gaze. It had been the first time an “I love you” had been said since their confession, because prior to this night, they told each other the sappy sentiment all the time. Hell, Baekhyun had said it to Chanyeol that morning when the other had bought him breakfast.

The fact that Baekhyun loved Chanyeol had not changed after finding out that the latter was _in_ love with him.

So, he nudged Chanyeol’s knee, lacing their hands together until Chanyeol finally looked at him again.

“I love you, Chanyeol. Don’t ever doubt that,” Baekhyun stated firmly. “I may not have caught up to you in terms of the romantic pining yet, but we’ll get there. Okay?”

Chanyeol nodded, exhaling deeply but not really relaxing until Baekhyun kissed him again. The blond gently sunk him back down into the sheets, close enough to count each lash and acne scar and perfect imperfection on Chanyeol’s face.

He went to grab something to prop under Chanyeol, but the taller immediately vetoed the action when he saw what Baekhyun had chosen.

“You are _not_ fucking me on my Apeach pillow,” he said firmly.

Baekhyun grinned cheekily.

“It’s a perv, we’re being naughty, this is the best time to use it,” he argued.

Chanyeol snatched the pillow from the blond, but another eyebrow waggle from the other and he sighed as put-upon as he could, shoving the pillow under him to better elevate his hips.

Pecking the taller’s lips happily, Baekhyun took the lube into his hands and uncapped the bottle as he pulled away. He poured some on his fingers before rubbing them to warm up the gel, placing them at Chanyeol’s entrance and waiting until the taller nodded.

He took his time opening him up, watching and learning the other’s reactions, and Chanyeol let him because despite the burning want coursing through his veins, he found himself trapped by the intensity of Baekhyun’s focus and careful attention. Though, the blond’s usual self showed when he found Chanyeol’s prostate, near-abusing the spot just to watch the taller stifle his moans and grip white-knuckled at the sheets.

“ _Baekhyun_ ,” Chanyeol breathed hoarsely. “ _Please_.”

The blond was pulling his fingers out in the next second, a little more roughly than he’d probably intended in his haste, Chanyeol’s plea shooting straight to his own straining erection. He cursed when he wasn’t able to grip the packet properly to open it considering his slick fingers, so he caught the edge between his teeth and tore it open, spitting the discarded foil off to the side.

Chanyeol bit his lip at the sight, internally crying at how unfairly hot Baekhyun was. He’d been fantasizing about this night for years, and to have it actually happen was getting to be overwhelming again, but he made himself promise not to cry again. He didn’t think the blond would take it well if he started weeping on his dick.

Baekhyun finished rolling the condom on, stroking the excess lube onto his cock, eyes fluttering shut momentarily at the sensation before stopping at the base, other hand going to hold Chanyeol’s hip as he shifted closer. Chanyeol hooked his other leg around Baekhyun’s own waist as the blond pressed against his lubed hole.

“Are you ready?” Baekhyun questioned quietly.

Chanyeol hummed, noticing how the blond’s glasses had slipped down his nose due to sweat. He slid them back into place for him, palm warm against the side of his face as he smiled.

“Yeah,” he whispered, “I’m ready.”

Baekhyun finally pushed in, both of them shuddering at the initial breach as Chanyeol’s hand fell to the other’s shoulder. The blond kept pushing until he was fully sheathed, Chanyeol’s head tossing back into the pillows as he got used to the stretch and Baekhyun’s own dropped against his chest as he panted. There were a few moments where they both adjusted, but Chanyeol only realized that something was amiss when he felt drops of water plipping against his abdomen.

Looking up, Chanyeol found Baekhyun crying.

Eyes widening, Chanyeol tried to sit up, wincing at the protest of the dick inside him, but he did so anyway, palms coming to cradle Baekhyun’s wet cheeks.

“Baekhyun? Jagi? What’s wrong?” he questioned worriedly.

Baekhyun sniffled, leaning into the Chanyeol’s touch as the taller wiped his tears away.

“I don’t know, babe, I just…I wasn’t thinking about it earlier, but when I got inside, it just hit me, is all.”

Chanyeol’s brow furrowed, and he waited for Baekhyun to elaborate.

“I want this to be good,” the blond swallowed thickly. “I want it to be good because you’ve waited years for this,” his voice broke. “I’m sorry you waited so long…”

Chanyeol felt his heart squeeze, and he pulled Baekhyun into a tight hug.

“Oh, jagi…” he murmured. “Sweet, kind, Baekhyunnie…don’t be so worried. No matter what we do, I’ll be happy. You don’t have to be some sort of sex god to make this good. It’s already perfect, because I’m with you.”

Baekhyun let out a little sob, burying his face into Chanyeol’s neck and squeezing back.

They sat there for a few moments while the blond got himself back together, pulling away and scrubbing his face dry with his hands.

“Ugh, I’m sorry, that was actually lame,” Baekhyun muttered.

Chanyeol pinched the blond’s nose, frowning.

“Hey, remember what you said earlier? When we were both freezing our balls off? No more apologizing. I get it if you want to stop now though,” he offered, gentle and genuine enough that Baekhyun knew the other meant it.

It made the blond more determined to make up for lost time, and he shook his head, gripping Chanyeol’s softening dick and stroking it back to full hardness.

“Thank you for looking out for me, babe,” Baekhyun took a breath, “but I really want to press into you so deep that it’s impossible to tell where I start and you end.”

Chanyeol sucked in a breath, fingers tightening against Baekhyun’s sides.

“Then, what are you waiting for?”

Legs locking back around Baekhyun’s waist, Chanyeol pulled the blond down with him, the room filling with the sound of their moans when Baekhyun finally began to move.

They stayed there, pressing into sheets and various plushes as they made love all night, taking their time exploring each other and taking each other apart. When they finally wore themselves out, they laid in bed together, tired hands stroking sweat-damp skin as deep-rooted secrets and inner thoughts were whispered between spent lips, loosened thanks to the emotional exhaustion and open vulnerability shared between them like how they shared everything else.

The two of them still had their niggling doubts, but all they had to do was succumb to the comfort of each other’s voices and touch, and they knew things would be okay.

The last thing they said to each other before falling asleep was “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was v v v fun to write ahhhhhhh let me know if y'all enjoyed this lil ficlet too :3
> 
> one of my betas would like you to know that the next time they fuck in the chanyeol's bed, they'll be doing actual netflix and chill to live action cat in the hat apparently lol
> 
> anyways, if you liked this one, go check out my other fics ;333
> 
> see y'all at the next one <3


End file.
